Rejection

We’ve all experienced rejection. Relationships and jobs seem to be the ones most people experience on a regular basis.

I’ve been rejected more often than I’ve been the rejector when it comes to relationships. I’m not saying that to wallow; I’m just stating a fact. I’m more likely to stick things out than to run away, an odd combination of optimism and fear of the unknown. It hurts to be rejected. We ask ourselves difficult questions after a relationship ends, like: “Why wasn’t I good enough?” “What does he(she) have that I didn’t?” “What did I do wrong?” Sometimes those questions don’t ever get answered.

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Job rejections are in the double-digits at this point in my life. Some came without an interview, and some came after an interview. The ones that came after an interview hurt the worst, especially the jobs I really wanted and know I would have been good at. There was one I applied for twice. The first time, I was interviewed and didn’t quite make the cut out of three people. I felt so defeated. The next time the job came open, I tried again before the search was changed to something else. By the time it came around again, I had given up.

Artists are privileged to get to experience it on a whole new level. The rejection of our voice, our work, the deepest expressions of ourselves. Musicians, visual artists, writers—I think it stings no matter what when we share something with the world and get criticism. Everyone is entitled to their own tastes and opinions. I try to find something positive to say about other artists’ work when they share it with me, even if it’s to say that it isn’t my usual genre and then point out something I liked about it. I try not to leave bad reviews on books if the author is still living. I probably rate books higher than I do other works of art because I know how difficult it is to write a novel. Continue reading “Rejection”

What does depression (and anxiety) look like?

Most commercials for antidepressants show people in despair, lying on a couch crying or dressed in baggy clothing with unkempt hair.

Is that what depression looks like? Yes. Sometimes.

But often, depression can look like a person who has their shit together. A career woman who gets things done. A soccer mom with perfect hair and perfect kids. A lawyer. A doctor. A musician. An artist. A movie star. A writer. Me.

Anxiety medication ads often depict a person having a panic attack, complete with hyperventilating, rapid heartbeat and sweating.

So that’s what anxiety looks like, right? Sure. Sometimes.

It also can look like standoffishness. Indifference. Disengagement. Irritability. Forgetfulness. Me.

Continue reading “What does depression (and anxiety) look like?”

Nine months in: Writing Updates and Jordan’s Sister info

It has been nine months since I started this blog. Nine whole months—long enough to grow a human being. Since the launch, it’s had 1,056 unique users view a total of 5,515 pages. I know it’s not huge numbers, but to get to that many in nine months is an accomplishment I am proud of. Wow. Also, on Twitter, I have gone from two followers in July to 1,230 as of this morning.

On July 15, I shared my writing journey on Facebook with a “coming soon” teaser picture for Caroline’s Lighthouse. That YA novel, dreamed up in early 1997 when I was only 15, is now available for purchase in paperback and ebook formats. I had book signings on March 3 and 18, during which I sold and signed a total of 19 copies. I hope to have more in the future. I couldn’t have been so successful without the help of my wonderful friends.

I’ve received a few more reviews about the novel. The latest are below:

This is a really good book! It’s been a while since I’ve read a really good fiction book! This is a novel full of rich detail and suspense! I recommend it!

I could not put this book down until it was finished. Great read!

This was a good read. It took me a bit to get into it but the story pulled me in and the ending was great.

Continue reading “Nine months in: Writing Updates and Jordan’s Sister info”